I got up at 2:30 this morning. Thankfully I woke up pretty naturally, and I wasn’t planning to get up until 4 or so. I got up, lots on my mind, and turned the lights on in our bedroom to (hopefully) the perfect setting on the dimmer that will allow my body to think it’s time to be awake but not so much that it wakes up TC. I considered heading out to IHOP or Steak N Shake in order to secure coffee and calories with which to help me with the lack of sleep, but ended up just getting it through at home.
It’s the third time this week I’ve gotten less than 5 hours and the fourth under 6. And I’ll be up late tonight or early tomorrow studying for a midterm on Saturday morning.
Some of this is due to personal procrastination (which I’m good at). Some of it is that work is extremely crazy right now (I have been in both Memphis and Houston this week and I’m in Denver next week). And some is just that life is complicated at the moment and I’m losing sleep over stuff I can’t turn off in my brain. Oh, and this marketing class is kicking my rear end. Badly. T-minus 2 weeks until the projects are due and I’m not at all happy with where I’m at with my part of the work. And it’s hard to get my head around the process, so I’m having trouble getting that same head above water.
We have a saying with some friends and family: there’s a lot of life in my life right now. And that’s how it is this month for sure. I’ve got a bunch of things that would be adding to the stress that I made a decision to push pause on them and just set them aside until after Marketing is done. Sure that wait may make things worse, but I do not have the personal bandwidth to take them on right now. And the extra suffering later because stuff gets worse is better than pushing myself beyond my limits right now. And I have to stop worrying about them and just say “this is for April. God please take care of it until then.” And then I have to trust Him to do so.
So this week I’m back drinking more caffeine than I should. I’m not sleeping as much as I need to. And because I’m not sleeping enough I’m eating extra calories and I’ve put back on a bunch of weight. And until mid-April, I’m going to be okay with that.
And with that, my faithful few readers should be unsurprised if blogging becomes sparse (though writing helps me process so it won’t be non-existent) over the next few weeks.