A lot of people think I’m an optimist. Those would be the people who know me the least.
I get discouraged easily. Mostly when I’m tired, and I tend to (because I tend to act like sleep is something I can do later) be tired a lot. I can put a good face on things in public most of the time, but I get tired. And when I get tired, I get discouraged.
“I think I should drop out of school.”
This is a quote that brings my goodly wife to laughter regularly. Mostly because it’s my go-to “my life is hard” statement. Because school is that one thing that seems like it would be easy to cut out, right? Admit defeat and go back to the old, slightly more boring life.
She knows I don’t like to quit. And she has promised not to let me quit. And I believe her.
But this week I’m tired. I have a homework assignment that’s not making sense to me. I have 4 or 5 things blowing up at work. I have a potential trip jumping out of nowhere onto my calendar when I really don’t have time for it. And I’m finding it hard to get my bearings.
So last night she quoted Elizabeth Elliot to me: “just do the next thing.”
“And the next thing for you is to get some sleep.”
So I went to bed early hoping that things would look better after I got some rest. And as the day goes on today, we’ll see if they do, but I’m still in great need of rest. Something woke me up at 4:00 and I had trouble getting back to sleep.
I don’t want to be a negative person. But I tend that way when things are hard, or at least when they’re a little hard. When things get really hard I can get on my game and get things done. But right now they feel hard and I need to lay down my own efforts and trust in God’s strength.
I serve a great and powerful God. I need to trust Him when things get rough. And I will. Because He’ll give me the grace to do just that.